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| The baby's suitcase with his first books (very important)! |
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| This was my favorite outfit we got. |
We bought a stroller, carrier, and diaper bag on Amazon and had it shipped to our hotel in Ft. Lauderdale, Scott really enjoyed putting it together.
We found out on our way to Florida that the BM had really high blood sugar and needed to have a c-section, which was scheduled for Friday.
So we decided to go to the Everglades and tour.
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| The alligator was within inches of Scott. |
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| Scott fed the birds some bread. |
And then Friday came! And we waited...and waited...and waited...
Saturday...
Sunday...
The whole time we were in communication with our case worker, and she kept telling us that the BM wasn't returning any of their calls or texts, and had herself listed as private at the hospital so they couldn't even call or visit her at the hospital.
So we waited...and waited....and prayed that the baby was healthy and the BM was healthy, and continued to hear nothing.
Sunday night, really late, I talked to our case worker on the phone, and she suggested that we go home. She was pretty honest with us and told us that she thinks the BM has probably decided to parent the child, and just isn't saying anything and she thinks it is entirely possible that they may never hear anything. She told us that there is a chance she could change her mind in the coming days/weeks/months, but it's not fair for us to wait around for her to decide.
So Scott flew home Monday and went back to work, and when we still heard nothing by Monday evening I got a ticket for me and Scott's Mom, and we flew home Tuesday night.
Yes, this has been sad. Yes, we're mourning the loss of something we had wished and prayed and hoped and longed for. Yes, it will take a little time.
Yes, we'll adopt the right baby at the right time.
Things will work out the way that the LORD want them to work out, and we have to wait on His timing. This experience has been painful, and we need some time to deal with that pain, but we know that we will come out stronger.
The way one person put it to me is that women that can bear their children get stretch marks on their tummy from carrying the baby, adoptive moms get stretch marks on their hearts as matches are made and then fail.
We both made places in our hearts for this little boy, and there isn't anything in that area now that he didn't come to us. So just like birthing a child, we have to have time to let that part of our hearts go back to normal, but there might always be stretch marks there.
Thanks to everybody for their support and love, we really appreciate it!
