How Archer Came to Our Family

I haven't posted anything in a long time. I kept meaning to, but life got in the way.

Since then (if you haven't heard) we've adopted a beautiful newborn boy we named Archer Jeremiah Huff. I know that his birth mom (sorry Shanice!) is going to hate some of these pictures, but they're a part of his story that I want to share.

It all started November 3rd. Scott and I were meeting with the builders (we're building a home too by the way), discussing the floor plan when I got a text from our caseworker with Heart and Soul Adoptions. She said that there was a birth mom that had flown to Utah from Chicago to give birth, and that she was sure she was going to pick us, but wanted to meet with us first. So I turned to Scott and told him that we needed to leave. He stopped and got me makeup (it was a lazy day for me) and a nicer shirt, and then we drove an hour to Layton to meet with our birth mom.

We had dinner at Red Lobster, and it was crazy how well we just clicked. Shanice was there with her cousin Sandtrice, and it was like meeting with old friends. We joked, we chatted about life, it was wonderful. Shanice eventually brought up the topic of adoption, and we were very up front with her that we want her to be as involved in this little boy's life as she is willing. She has never given up this child, she placed him in my arms and with our family. This decision was all about love. I asked if I could be at his birth, and she said that I could. (Ok seriously, that made my whole life!)

So Tuesday, November 4th I arrived at the hospital around 7:30 AM and Shanice's water had just been broken. She was having pretty steady contractions and the baby's heart beat was strong.

The Nurse and a Student Nurse.

I held her hand, and talked to her about what we wanted for this child. I showed her some of the baby books, including ones on adoption, that we got, and promised her lunch when it was all over. She got an epidural, and then was able to sleep.

Getting the epidural.

In under 3 hours, at 10:24 AM Archer was born. I held Shanice's hand the whole time upon her request, and held my breath until he screamed. I was texting Scott every second along the way, and when Archer came out I was so wrapped up in him that I forget to tell him he came safe and sound! I got to even cut Archer's umbilical chord (shaking the whole time). He was born with a full head of very straight hair, and a healthy set of loud lungs.

Kinda blurry, I was shaking, sorry.

Scott came and we got to give him his first bath.

It was completely amazing. We loved this boy from the very start! The rest of the family has loved him so much too. Anytime we are around extended family everyone wants to hold him. 

Shanice is our hero. This woman did not seem to waver the entire time with us about her decision. I was 'Mom' from the beginning, and she let us be a part of every step. It was so much more than we ever expected to be a part of. We continue to text and stay in contact with each other, and we love that she continues to want to be a part of his life!

Note about his name:

People keep asking me about how we came up with his name, Archer Jeremiah Huff. Archer is Scott's paternal great-great-grandfather. That name has been passed down a lot in his family. Jeremiah is one of my younger brothers that died in the house fire in 2004. We told Shanice we were thinking either Benjamin, Jeremiah, or Kyle as a middle name (all names of my deceased brothers), and she said she liked Jeremiah. So there you go! We always thought we would call him Archie, but it just hasn't stuck. It doesn't fit him. So we call him Archer, or AJ. They fit his not so little personality very well.

Failed Adoption Match

We got a call last Monday while I was on my way to work to fly to Florida and pick up a baby boy that was suppose to be born on Tuesday (August 19). Scott and I freaked out a little bit, and then ran. Literally, I ran all day long making sure we had everything together, we bought tickets, got a rental car, and then flew to Florida on Wednesday after the Birth Mom (BM) requested that we come after the baby was born.

The baby's suitcase with his first books (very important)!

This was my favorite outfit we got.

We bought a stroller, carrier, and diaper bag on Amazon and had it shipped to our hotel in Ft. Lauderdale, Scott really enjoyed putting it together.

We found out on our way to Florida that the BM had really high blood sugar and needed to have a c-section, which was scheduled for Friday.

So we decided to go to the Everglades and tour.

The alligator was within inches of Scott.

Scott fed the birds some bread.

And then Friday came! And we waited...and waited...and waited...

Saturday...

Sunday...

The whole time we were in communication with our case worker, and she kept telling us that the BM wasn't returning any of their calls or texts, and had herself listed as private at the hospital so they couldn't even call or visit her at the hospital.

So we waited...and waited....and prayed that the baby was healthy and the BM was healthy, and continued to hear nothing.

Sunday night, really late, I talked to our case worker on the phone, and she suggested that we go home. She was pretty honest with us and told us that she thinks the BM has probably decided to parent the child, and just isn't saying anything and she thinks it is entirely possible that they may never hear anything. She told us that there is a chance she could change her mind in the coming days/weeks/months, but it's not fair for us to wait around for her to decide.

So Scott flew home Monday and went back to work, and when we still heard nothing by Monday evening I got a ticket for me and Scott's Mom, and we flew home Tuesday night.

Yes, this has been sad. Yes, we're mourning the loss of something we had wished and prayed and hoped and longed for. Yes, it will take a little time.

Yes, we'll adopt the right baby at the right time.

Things will work out the way that the LORD want them to work out, and we have to wait on His timing. This experience has been painful, and we need some time to deal with that pain, but we know that we will come out stronger.

The way one person put it to me is that women that can bear their children get stretch marks on their tummy from carrying the baby, adoptive moms get stretch marks on their hearts as matches are made and then fail.

We both made places in our hearts for this little boy, and there isn't anything in that area now that he didn't come to us. So just like birthing a child, we have to have time to let that part of our hearts go back to normal, but there might always be stretch marks there.

Thanks to everybody for their support and love, we really appreciate it!

LDS Family Services Changes

I have had a million and one people ask me what is happening since LDS Family Services announced that they are getting rid of their adoption services. I wanted to make sure that I had all of the information, and I don't like repeating myself a hundred times, so I'm writing it here. Sorry it's a little late in coming.

I really want this shirt!!

First of all, is it inconvenient the LDSFS is no longer facilitating adoptions, YES! Does it mean that if you can't afford a $25,000-$50,000+ adoption fees through a private agency that you can never adopt, NO!!!

So here is basically how it works:

1. LDSFS is no longer facilitating all of the legal stuff for adoptive families. This means that in order to adopt you have to have someone else do the home study, background checks, etc. How do you do that? Well, you can contact your local LDSFS and they should be able to direct you to a good lawyer or private social worker that can help facilitate it for you. Or you can research what the laws are in the state that you live in to find out how to do it on your own.
2. Once you have all of your home study stuff done you can go to LDSFS in your area, turn in the paperwork you have, get a letter of recommendation from your bishop and show that you are married and sealed in the temple, and wala! You're done, and can be put on a new website they are putting together.
3. This new website will be FREE (it will start up in January). All of the women that LDSFS work with that decide they want to place for adoption will be directed to this website. It also is a national website that other agencies and people use. That means that you have a better chance of being chosen by a birth mother for adoption if you choose to just go through this website.
4. If you've been chosen you then find a lawyer that can help with all of the adoption paperwork and post-placement visits.
5. This legitimately can be cheaper than it currently is to adopt through LDS Family Services. Adoption feeds, depending on who you hire, can be cheaper than what LDSFS charges. The only problem is if you need to pay for medical expenses of the birth mother. Here's a hint, any woman that is pregnant can apply for medicaid and will be covered during her pregnancy and up to (I think) 90 days after she has had the baby if she qualifies. That helps A LOT, and is something LDSFS was already doing for birth mothers. Seriously, even if you don't think she'd qualify, help her apply!!

Here is the thing. I realize that this means a lot more leg work and headache for adopting families. You have to be a wise consumer, know the questions to ask, and inform yourself to what is available in the community that can help you. LDSFS in your area should be able to give you information on what sort of questions to ask and give you lists of what is available in the community.

The reason this happened is because LDSFS wants to provide better services to birth moms. LDSFS also does not have the number of birth moms coming in wanting to place for adoption as they do adopting families. You have a 1 in 3 chance currently through LDSFS to have a child placed with you in a year. They have around 600 actively adopting families on their website, and work with about 200 birth moms a year that want to place for adoption. Not good chances. This also went up to the First Presidency of the LDS Church. I'm a social worker, so in that circle I heard about this coming down close to 6 years ago, and by then they had been talking about it for awhile. The First Presidency wouldn't let it happen until they knew it was right, and they went through a lot of plans to make sure that it was right.

So for us particularly this means that it is business as usual for now. We just finished our home study and are waiting on final approval (probably will have it before the end of the month), and then we are good to go! We'll work within their current system, and if a birth mother picks us before the end of December then LDSFS will facilitate the whole thing through their old system. If we aren't picked before then, then we'll probably find an adoption lawyer to help us, go on the new adoption website, and decide if we want to find a private agency to work through. LDSFS in American Fork is having a resource night to let families know more about what is available out there to help them, and we will be there! I also have friends that I can ask, so if you don't know anyone I might be able to point you to someone if you ask nicely :).

The bottom line to all of this is that this is what we have to do if we want to have children. We do! And when I went to one of the community meetings explaining about the changes I had the clear impression from the Spirit that this is the right thing, and that it is going in the right direction. It will work out the way it is suppose to, and as scary as it kinda is, we know that we'll be able to be parents some way, some day. 

We're being patient, and trying to have faith. It will all work out!

If you have other questions you can totally ask me and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability or point you to someone that knows more. I can send you the letter the Commissioner of LDSFS sent us to tell us about the changes. I can also pass on more information about good questions to ask a birth family and agencies in the Utah area if you'd like (I hope to have those soon). 

This is one of my favorite quotes...

Museum of Natural Curiosity and The Drowsy Chaperone

This last week was a lot of fun! After interviewing the week before for my dream job, and then spending the next week trying really really hard to not sweat over whether or not I got the job, I got the offer and accepted! Totally great.

Other than that I took my nieces for the afternoon while my sister-in-law had a doctors appointment. We decided to go to the Museum of Natural Curiosity at Thanksgiving Point. It was SO MUCH FUN! First we went to lunch, and the girls wanted hot dogs, so we went to J-Dawgs:

They were happy! Don't know where the grump faces came from.

And then it was off to the museum. It was SO CROWDED! We had wandered for awhile trying to find it (and getting two little girls in and out of their car seats multiple times is no fun, just saying), and once we got there we had to stand in line for probably 30-45 minutes. But then we got it and it was fantastic. Kate (the little one on the right) is incredibly brave and independent, and wandered off on her own two times. Karli (on the left) was a really good sport about it though and would walk around holding my hand quietly while we looked for Kate. We had a great time especially in the water section, and Kate LOVED the little rubber beads you can build hills and landscape with in this picture:

A little blurry, but getting a picture of them in action is hard.

I kept having to stop her from throwing them. But how can you resist when they laugh with so much glee and smile so big. It really was so much fun. I would recommend going with two adults though, would have made the seeking I had to do a lot easier with more eyes since it was so crowded. When we got back to our house their Mom and Dad brought pizza, and we watched Aladdin.

We also had the great privilege of seeing The Drowsy Chaperone at the Ziegfeld Theater in Ogden. Scott's friend was in it and his wife had assistant directed/choreographed the show. It was so funny! I know they said that the crowd was kinda dead, but I was laughing my head off. We stayed the night (they invited us, how nice!), and in the morning they made us breakfast:

Kacee in the front and Kevin in the back

Kacee was nice enough to make a separate pan of eggs for Scott because he absolutely hates cheese in eggs. Mine were fantastic.

Last, we had a lot of fun at church. Here is Scott after being chosen by our class to wear the funny hat as a reward to our class because they were singing so loud:

It's just so fantastic!

And that was our week. Lots of fun!!

3,012 miles, 45 hrs. 46 min. driving, 3 time zones, and 10 states

This trip we took involved A LOT of driving (if you couldn't tell from the title). The number of states are states that we stopped in for some reason or another. Some to stay for a little bit, some to just get gas, and others to see sights or visit people.

We started out by going to Las Vegas, NV. We stayed in this super fancy hotel, which was surprising because it wasn't that expensive at all. I have wanted to go to a Cirque Du Solei show for a very very long time, and I finally got to go! We went to La Reve The Dream (a cross between gymnastics, contortion, dance, comedy, and synchronized swimming). It was pretty cool. We were sitting in the "splash zone" in the front row. Got a little wet, but we were dry by the time it ended. This picture was taken before the show started. Sorry it's so dark. We were surrounded by people that didn't speak English (or Spanish in my case), so we did a lot of gesturing and this is what we got. Didn't want to go through that again. My favorite part: when they took the guy up past were we could see (at least 4 stories) and then dropped him into the pool. Absolutely crazy!

Then we stopped at the Hoover Dam on our way to the Grand Canyon. We went on the tour through the bottom, which was pretty cool.

I totally love Scott's hat.

Then finally on to the Grand Canyon! It was mind blowing, seriously. Simultaneously Scott and I both said, "Oh my gosh," upon our first glance of the canyon. Pictures do not do it justice! It really looks like something painted on the sky.

Our first outlook. So pretty!

We went on a hike of the Kaibab Trail. Lots of great views, and Scott was brave and climbed to the top of this rock (yes, he made me do it too).

Then this big guy wandered into our camp. 

We were at the Grand Canyon for two days. Then we went on to Mesa Verde. Stopped at four corners monument, where I had the best fry bread I have ever tasted. It was fantastic. At Mesa Verde National Park (it's kinda small, in Colorado) we went on tours of the cliff dwellings there. It was really really cool! People actually lived in these about 800 years ago, and abandoned them after about 80 years being there. Seems like a lot of work for such a sort period of time. There are around 600 dwellings in the cliffs in the area. You can see most of them from the roads on outlooks, and there are a few you can walk through.

Getting into balcony house. It's about a three story ladder.

Crawling through a hole to see part of the dwelling.

Scott climbing out of the dwelling.

We even went on a twilight tour of Cliff Palace, the really big one, with a guy acting like the original explorer of these ruins.

Then it was on to Kansas. We always stay with the Ross family when we go to Kansas, and I totally forgot to take a picture with them. The Ross' are this awesome awesome family that took me in after my house burned down. We got together with my brother's family while we were there of course and tried a new BBQ place (K&M). I thought it was pretty good (the onion rings, mmmm), but Scott likes Oklahoma Joe's better. BBQ is a required stop in Kansas City. So good. 

Salena on the left, Nathan in front, and Justin next to me.

I normally try to take my nephew on some sort of date when I'm in town. He remembered from last time I was there (a year and a half ago, seriously!) that I told him we could go to Lego Land. They only let you in if you have a child with you, and Scott wanted to go too, so we went. This is from the section where you make cars on race them or see how far they'll fly on a ramp. Nathan just wanted to take one and make it go over and over again. Scott wanted to make a cool looking car (he built the engine). I didn't make one until the very end so that I could race Nathan. We had a lot of fun.

I even put a spoiler on the back.

And then was the excuse we had to go to Kansas (which we didn't really need one, but grad school got in the way) was Megan Duffy Field's wedding! It was totally beautiful, had the most fantastic cake that I've had since my wedding, and great food. She looked absolutely beautiful and I'm really happy for the new couple (her husband's name is Jamie Field). Megan, Jen and I were connected at the hip in high school. We did everything together, so it was great to get together again at her wedding.

Jen on the left, Megan in the middle, and me on the right.

So that was our vacation. It was really great, and I was super sad to leave Kansas. Cried as we pulled away from the Ross' house, but we're happy to be home. Sorry this post has so many pictures in it, but it was worth it!

26 for Scott

So it was Scott's birthday the week before we left on vacation. I'm a little late, but between leaving for vacation, being on vacation, and then coming home and getting a bunch of phone calls for interviews (yay!) I've been trying to keep up with life (and honestly I've been a little lazy).

On Scott's birthday we had dinner with his family. So the night before we went out to dinner. He got to pick, and decided to go to this Hibachi place we were told about (thanks Wendy!) in Lehi. They're kinda a faster version of Hibachi where they don't do all the tricks. You just order, they make it, and then you pick it up. Their noodles are AMAZING, and they serve a lot of food. Scott always wants steak, and I always want tempura vegetables (mmmmm, I'm salivating just thinking about it!).

I said, "Look happy," and this is what I get!

So on his actual birthday we went to his parents, grilled some burgers and hot dogs, and hung out with the gang. Scott's family get together all of the time, which is just fine by me. So everyone was there except his brother who is on a mission in Texas. His Grandpa even came down for it.

Just having a good 'ole time chatting.

Earlier that day Scott's Mom asked me to make a cake for him. I asked Scott what he wanted and he said, "Make something nerdy." What they heck does that mean? So I thought and thought and thought until I decided that I could make a scrabble cake! Scott loves scrabble, but no one will play with him because he's so good at it.

Yes I measured the lines. And the squares are butter mints that I put letters on. They were a little small to also put the score on too, otherwise I would have. Scott said that he forgot to calculate the score on it. I even looked up a picture of it so I would put all the colors in the right spots for bonus places.

A genuine Scott smile, kinda hard to get!

And of course, I got these cools candles that glowed in different colors and they didn't want to light. In true Huff fashion, Scott's Dad decides to get out his torch and light them. I thought it was so funny I just had to immortalize it in a picture.

The arm in Scott's Mom.

So that was Scott's birthday. Lots of fun, and concluded by us going home and packing all of our camping gear into our car for our trip. Post on that to come.

Sewing!

I really enjoy sewing. I learned from my Mom and my Grandma when I was little, and now that I finally have room (and honestly time...looking at you grad school) I am sewing again.

Over the weekend I got a frantic phone call from a friend that makes movies and videos and stuff, and they desperately needed me to fix a "small tear" in a jacket for a shoot that night. Well, that "small tear" was actually the shoulder and front pocket being almost entirely torn off.

Needless to say, I spent like 3 hours fixing it. Hey, I got paid to do it. I'll take it!

Yes, I also love to read, and need another bookcase bad.

And really, whomever put that jacket together needs some sewing lessons. Some serious sewing lessons. I called the person that assembled it some mean words in my head, and some of the cleaner ones out loud, many many times.

A lot has happened...

Sorry that I haven't posted in awhile. A lot has happened in the last few weeks, most of which includes Scott and I spending most of our free time trying to finish all of the adoption paperwork. We went to our doctor last week to get our physicals done for the paperwork and I decided to make a day of it. Check it out...

I went to the eye doctor and they dilated my eyes. My left eye went back to normal really quick. My right eye took close to 8 hours to go back to normal. So I looked a little odd. Took myself to lunch and was one of those creepy people wearing my sunglasses inside.

I also graduated with my Master's of Social Work degree from BYU! Oh my gosh, so excited about it!

The hood kinda chokes you. Yay for husbands and mother's-in-law that come up with ways to attach it so it stops choking you!

Other than that we have actually been spending a lot of time with little kids. We LOVE it! We babysit this little squeeker, Alec, most Saturdays and he's so much fun.

Cheesy excitement for getting his own flowers!

He likes to run, evidenced by the blurry picture.

Alec really likes the horses across the street from our home and calls them "doh" (dog). He asks to go see them constantly. Scott is really really allergic to them, but will brave it (thank you benadryl) because Alec loves it so much.

Scott had pulled out some weeds from the garden to feed the horses. Alec won't touch them, but loves watching everyone else do it for him.

And then we spent a weekend watching our nieces Karly and Kate ("A sleepover at Kami and Scott's!"). They LOVE anything princess so we told them we could watch Sleeping Beauty (their pick) on our "big tv" before going to bed. They wanted to cuddle with Scott all night.

Can you see Kate cuddled into Scott's side by the chair?

We took them to a big park the next day. Kate is incredibly brave and went on and through everything. We kept trading off which kid we were following so we could switch off who was the most tired chasing her around. Karly likes having someone there to reassure her more, but we talked her into crawling in the hive to take a picture.

It is so sweet for me to see Scott with these kids and just get so excited for what's coming for us. He really is fantastic with all of the kids in our life, and they absolutely love him (I mean seriously, the girls cuddle and play with him all the time). So wish us luck trying to finish all this paperwork!

I passed!

I apologize for the messiness of this blog currently. We're trying to make it look the way we want it to look!

These last two weeks have been fairly eventful for me and Scott.

First this happened:

Which pretty much made my whole week! I had to go to a conference and present some research I did for the VA Hospital right after taking the test, man was I tired!

Scott and I finally got to go in and meet with the caseworker at LDS Family Services, meaning we can get started on the rest of our paperwork. Daunting, but exciting!

And I just have to say that Scott is a rockstar. He hates programming, but he's using the skills he has and finding new ones by making this blog look pretty. I just love him.

Introducing...

Hi, my name is Kami. I'm married to Scott. We're pretty happy people, and we really like each other.

We've been married two years and in that time a lot has happened. I got to go to Scott's favorite place in the world, Yellowstone National Park.

I had died my hair brown for a few months.

We went on a honeymoon (after six month's of marriage, so still newlyweds, it counts!) to Alaska.

And I got bit by a salmon fish on that trip.

See the terror that a fish induces!

I went back to graduate school to get a Master's Degree in Social Work at Brigham Young University. Scott graduated from BYU with a degree in Manufacturing Engineering!

After seriously injuring my back lifting a television I had to have back surgery. But I am pretty much 100% back to normal.

We went to Disney World as Scott's graduation present.

Epcot Center

And Scott started a great job with a lighting company as an engineer. I'm also just about to graduate with my Master's degree (taking the licensing exam tomorrow, eek!).

But after all of that we are on our way to start the best adventure we've had yet! See, we started trying to get pregnant shortly after we got married. I had a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and we knew that it was going to be hard, so we wanted to get started early. Well after two years (with a small break so I could have surgery and then be cleared by my doctor), we found out that I never had PCOS and actually have something called Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (or Premature Ovarian Failure). All that means is that I have so few eggs that they can't count them. After praying and pondering over our options with infertility, we've decided to forgo the less than 5% chance of getting pregnant on our own and go towards...

We legitimately have this on our fridge.

We're just getting started, but if you want to point us in the right direction let us know! We're super excited to expand our little family!!!

We believe!